[Youth] – ‘A Boy & His Pet Heart’ (1994-1999)

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Stream the mix while you read; download at the bottom of this post.

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‘A Boy & His Pet Heart‘ is a Musicophilia mix I never expected to make.  Or, at least, it’s a mix I would have made when I was 18, but never since.  It’s a revisiting of rock music (or “post-hardcore,” “indie” or just “punk”) that I once loved, from the last time I could sincerely say I loved new indie rock music (edit: until recently).  The title ‘A Boy & His Pet Heart‘ (and the graphical style of the artwork) comes directly from the unabashedly precious name of the pirate internet radio stream I ran from my dorm room in 1998, my freshman year of college. (The station frequently used, I later realized, over 2/3rds of the available bandwidth of the school–but apparently nobody noticed).  In order to hear this music unencumbered by twenty years of my own prejudices, I had to do a little emo(tional) baggage unpacking.

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Some music in our formative listening years shapes our identity by changing how we hear, what we value, and what we seek next.  In some ways the indie rock of my youth formed my identity in the inverse: In my early 20s, I shaped who I saw myself as–who I wanted to be–in defiant rejection of the rock music I’d briefly but passionately loved.  Not long after the latest music on this mix, I fell firmly out of love with indie rock (as I recall, due to the tepid Sigur Ros being hailed as geniuses when I’d heard Can; and The Strokes being huge when there were The Modern Lovers, etc.); while at the same time, I was voraciously discovering a huge and expanding world of music that seemed so much more exciting: Miles Davis, Brian Eno, Fela Kuti, Gang of Four, Erykah Badu, Judee Sill, Steve Reich, Mos Def, and on and on.  So I literally (and figuratively) packed away my indie rock records, and rarely looked back.

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I decided to make this mix and revisit this music to evaluate why I packed it all so neatly away, and whether I should have–especially given there’s almost no other music I’ve loved and then consigned to “the past” and left behind.  Just because I discovered Post-Punk in my early 20s didn’t mean I “moved on” from the 70s Singer-Songwriter and Folk music I was raised on.  Finding Library Music in my later 20s didn’t mean I had no room for Jazz and Disco.  My deeply renewed love of Hip-Hop and R&B in the late 2010s hasn’t dislodged Krautrock, 80s Art-Rock, or 70s Country.  So I had to consider: why have I treated guitar-bass-and-drums-based music of the 90s like expired ephemera?  I rejected indie rock in the first place because it seemed to me too much about “being cool” and getting Pitchfork accolades.  But had I also rejected this music, at least in part, because I thought it was “uncool” compared to music more distant from my own precociously self-serious but unremarkable youth?  Had I rejected a whole swath of legitimate artistic expression because it called to mind my own emotional extravagances that “adult” me had grown beyond?

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Thankfully, whatever the external significances I have saddled this music with over the years, listening now: I’ve found it to be a true pleasure and a real surprise.  Yes, the music is at times painfully earnest, overtly cute, and lavishly romantic–but what’s wrong with that?  I wouldn’t hold it against other forms of music.  Its also more musically inventive than I recalled, aiming for maximum sonic effect with a minimal set of tools/instruments.  Most forgotten, the emotional palate here is actually very subtle and nuanced, showing false the “youth music only” tag I’d applied.  It’s not made of broad-brush-stroke greys of generalized sadness, but rather is painted with crimson hues of passionate love, bright pinks of playfulness, purples shades of uncertainty, sea-green waves of regret, rich ochers of joy, deep blacks of loss.  Like Nirvana’s music being reverse-engineered into Nth generation corporate “Alternative” by copyists in the 90s, sure, the diversity of indie rock was later standardized into glossy mallpunk advert muzak.  But those vulture sins take away nothing of the immense spirit and sonic achievements of the music on ‘A Boy & His Pet Heart‘.  If you’ve ever put music that mattered to your younger self away in a box and metaphorically labeled it “songs to forget,” maybe now’s the time to dust it off, and listen again.  For me, doing so has helped me remember to keep my ears truly open, and maybe to be a little more forgiving of my heart-sleeved youth.

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Download/stream the mix below the tracklist. Please, please, buy music (don’t just Spotify) at local shops, independent online sellers, Bandcamp et al. You have to stream thousands of times to make artists even pennies–buying music puts much-needed money into artists’ and labels hands immediately. Many of these albums are in print, or are at least available digitally. Thank you for listening, and please pass it on.

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Various – ‘A Boy & His Pet Heart’
1994-1999
SIDE A

01 [00:00] For Carnation – “On the Swing” (‘Marshmallows’ 1996)
02 [02:00] Ida – “Tellings” (‘I Know About You’ 1996)
03 [06:20] Hum – “Stars” (‘You’d Prefer An Astronaut’ 1995)
04 [11:30] Everyone Asked About You – “Last Dance” (‘Let’s Be Enemies’ 1998)
05 [14:15] The Promise Ring – “Red & Blue Jeans” (‘Nothing Feels Good’ 1997)
06 [17:05] Cap’n Jazz – “Oh Messy Life” (‘Schmap’n Shmazz’ 1995)
07 [19:05] Don Caballero – “Room Temperature Suite” (‘What Burns Never Returns’ 1998)
08 [24:30] That Dog – “You Are Here” (‘That Dog’ 1996)
09 [29:00] Karate – “This, Plus Slow Song” (‘In Place of Real Insight’ 1997)

SIDE B

10 [31:15] Rainer Maria – “Breakfast of Champions” (‘Look Now Look Again’ 1999)
11 [34:45] Rodan – “Bible Silver Corner” (‘Rusty’ 1995)
12 [41:35] Red House Painters – “Summer Dress” (‘Ocean Beach’ 1995)
13 [44:25] Sunny Day Real Estate – “J’Nuh” (‘LP2’ 1995)
14 [49:15] Pedro The Lion – “Almost There” (‘Whole’ EP 1996)
15 [52:20] Low – “Don’t Understand” (‘Secret Name’ 1999)
16 [59:05] Versus – “Thera” (‘The Stars Are Insane’ 1994)
17 [63:50] Beekeeper – “Two Men” (‘Ostrich’ 1998)
18 [66:15] Jejune – “Regrets Are Unanswered Dreams” (‘This Afternoon’s Malady’ 1998)
[Total Time: 1:11:40]

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Download ‘A Boy & His Pet Heart’ Here (165 MB)

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Stream here:

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